Do you date?

How do you date? Do you date? Sometimes we get dating and hanging out mixed up. A date is when someone plans an activity, prepares it (having all the resources provided), and is paired off. When you’re hanging out, there’s no planned activity and no direction. Now I am not saying that all hanging out is bad but you need to have a balance.

This is what I have seen and experienced in my own life. It’s called the phenomenon of date them till you hate them. You go on one date with a person and once you’ve gone on the second date with them, you start to like them. And so you say “I like you.” To that person and then other person says “I like you too”. After you’ve established that you have feelings for each other, you decided to date. Instead of continuing to plan and prepare activities, you just start spending time with each other without any effort because you already are paired off. We start hanging out and spending our every second with the other person we like. And sometimes it can drive you crazy until you’re say, “Get away from me”.

Here is what I have experienced and observed and am trying to get better at and practice. Is it is more romantic, fun and exciting to go on a date with someone you like twice a week for two to three hours? Or is it better to spend all day every day with that same person? Here is the difference: When you spend two to three hours twice a week with someone you look forward to that time when he or she comes to pick you up. You get the butterflies and the sweating palms because you’re excited. When you hang out with someone all day every day you might still be excited but it may not be as fun because you’re doing the same thing every day all day. After a while, that could get boring and you might start to lose interest in that person. But when you go on simple dates you’re both learning and growing together, almost like you’re climbing up a ladder.

How you date carries over into your marriage. The habit of dating established early on in life will carry over into marriage. If you develop dating by planning, preparing, and being paired off, chances are that when you’re married you’re more likely to continue that pattern of dating. Married or single, planning dates and having fun is a lot better than just chilling on the couch. When you have a goal or an activity planned, you have direction in your life and you’re going to learn a lot more about yourself and about the person you’re with. In this generation, “hanging out” is commonly referred to as “Netflix and Chill”. You have to be active in dating and relationships will grow out of them, versus sitting on the couch watching tv and not speaking. If you’re not talking, your relationship will begin to dwindle. If you really like the person and you properly date you will like them even more than if you just hangout every second of the day.